If You're Reading This
by CriminalOutsider'sGirl14
Summary: One night, while Pony lay over his English homework, a surprise is left outside his and Darry's door: Sandy's baby. With Soda's death in 'Nam still raw in the brothers' minds, Sandy's surprise is like salt in an open wound. Will the toddler help them slowly heal, or will it all far apart? Who's the baby's father? "When I looked into his eyes, I saw Soda." Rating may change to T.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: There Is A Baby On Your Porch, Pone**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. :( Sad. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 **Ponyboy's POV (January 31st, 1968)**

I leaned over my English homework, cursing Mr. Defries for giving me so much English to do tonight. He was a good English teacher, but he loved to assign pages of homework at the end of class. I was so glad that the weekend was coming up soon.

Darry wasn't suppose to be home for another hour or two, so I pushed myself away from the writings that were making my head spin, and got out some noodles to make spaghetti. It wasn't fancy or anything, but it would do.

Something was missing from the scene, but I couldn't lie to myself about what it was. It was Sodapop. I remember the exact date we got the letter. It was a Tuesday in September when I came home from school and grabbed the mail.

 _"Darry!" I called, slamming the screen door behind me. I handed him the newspaper and the bills, but my fingers clenched tightly around a thick Army envelope when I came to it._

 _"No... No, no, no, no... No!" My knees buckled. I already knew what it said. "It-It can't be!"_

 _I never read it. Darry read the first sentence aloud._

 ** _"We regret to inform you that Sodapop Patrick Curtis was killed in the line of duty on September 21st, 1967..."_**

 _'Killed in the line of duty.'_ What a nice way of saying murdered in a foreign country thousands of miles away. We sobbed together on the kitchen floor for hours that night, holding on to what we had left.

Soda would have been nineteen in just a month, but he didn't even make it to nineteen. Shot in the heart, an instant death.

Forever eighteen.

Steve went crazy after that, and he had just began coming around again. Two-Bit drank more, but he was there for me, always. And I was eternally grateful for him always being there.

I wondered about Cherry, the only other person besides him that I could talk to. She was a freshman at the University of Oklahoma by now, studying to become something better. I'm not sure what she's going for.

A knock at the door broke my thoughts. Thinking it was Darry, I went back to boiling my water, but then I realized that Darry wouldn't knock. I then heard spinning tires and Two-Bit's car's loud engine coming from outside. I washed my hands quickly and walked to the door, but before I could get there I heard a wail. It sounded like it was coming from a small child outside the door.

Two-Bit opened the door and poked his head through the opening. "There's a baby on your porch, Pone. You knock up any girls recently?" It was a joke, at least I hoped it was, but he didn't laugh. His stormy grey eyes were concerned and confused.

"A **_baby_**?" I finally spit out in shock.

 **A/N: So I have an issue with waiting to post new stories, but, oh well, it makes my and your life interesting I guess. Should Sandy's baby be a boy or a girl? )**

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee xXx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Ignorance, Selfishness, Wedlock, and Letters Of All Kind**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. :( Sad. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 **Ponyboy's POV (January 31st, 1968)**

There was a note on his car seat, along with a blue and brown checker patterned diaper bag.

The note simply read:

 _ **Dear Curtis' (Sodapop in particular),**_

 _ **I cannot provide for my child any longer. Inside the diaper bag is $40 dollars. I know that you will do the right thing, Sodapop, your a good guy. Also, inside is his birth certificate along with a few bottles and stuff. He was born out of wedlock, Sodapop, what do you expect me to do? I am so sorry. His name is Noah Brett Stockman. Take good care of him for me, please.**_

 _ **\- Sandra S.**_

Her writing was in cursive, but it was messy, rushed, and small.

Darry, who had arrived around the time that Two-Bit did, cussed under his breathe. I was slightly shocked when I realized that he was cussing at Sandy.

"Selfish, Ignorant, little-..." He was real angry. Furious, even, at Sandy.

"Really? Now?" Two-Bit wondered aloud to the sky, grabbing the letter. I realized that the door was still open and the child was still on the porch.

"What do we do?" Two-Bit asked.

"Get him out of the cold," I commanded, pushing past the two older boys.

When I got Noah inside I was relived to see that he didn't look like _him_. He had Sandy's china blue eyes, but had darker blond hair than Sandy, it was almost brown.

I pulled out his birth certificate and read through it as fast as I could.

 ** _Name: Noah Brett Stockman_**

 ** _Birthdate: June 12th, 1966_**

 ** _Weight: 6 lbs. 8 ounces_**

 ** _Hair color: Brown_**

 ** _Eye color: Blue_**

 ** _Parents: Sandra Lin Stockman and..._**

I froze, my hands clenched and shaking. I reread it again in disbelief.

 ** _Parents: Sandra Lin Stockman and Sodapop Patrick Curtis_**

Ha was Soda's. _His. Kid_. My chest felt tight.

"Ponyboy," Darry's voice brought me out of my thought. I glanced over his face. He looked concerned, agitated, nervous, anxious, pained, and others I couldn't read all at once. With shaky hands I passed him the birth certificate. He scanned over it quickly, realizing the problem.

"It's gonna be okay, Pone. We'll all be okay," Darry soothed. I nodded, feeling the tears well up.

 ** _Why are you still gone, Sodapop? Why you?_**

 **A/N:**

 **Guest : Thank you so much for your encouraging review! I'm glad you liked my first chapter. I hope to update soon and he's a boy, but it'll still be interesting I hope. **

**Sodapop: Are you all the same person? Lol, I got all of your reviews just two minutes apart voting on the boy. Thank you for reviewing!**

 **XxSarahxX : Hey, Sarah! Hope you enjoyed thank you for taking the time to review.**

 **Dally4ever : Hey, thank so much for reviewing! It's a boy! Lol**

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee xXx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Bottles, Tears, And The Diaper Bag**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. :( Sad. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 ****I was expecting two or three reviews a chapter. But to receive 15 reviews in just a few hours... Guys! Your amazing! I can't describe what it felt to feel that support and see that. Thank you all so much and just keep it up!  
**

 **Ponyboy's POV (February 1st, 1968; 12:39 a.m.)**

Brett cried and cried. He wailed his little head off until Darry found the pacifier. He sucked on it and fell asleep quickly, exhausted from all his wailing. Frankly, we were all worn out from it too.

Two-Bit put Brett into Soda's old room to go to sleep. I guess he was going to sleep in his car seat or something because we didn't have a crib, ad hopefully Sandy's money would cover a crib. I didn't want to use that money though, it felt like dirty money.

I wasn't for sure where Brett was even sleeping, Darry told me to go to bed- I had school in the morning. I would've argued, but I was just too tired to.

"Ponyboy, 'fore you go to bed grab me a blanket and a bottle outta that bag, would ya? And fill it up with some formula," Darry instructed.

Searching through the bag, I found five packs of cigarettes a few items of clothing before finding a bottle.

 _Five packs of cigarettes_? _Jesus Christ._

I filled the bottle to the brim with formula and formula like Darry instructed me to and gave it to him along with the baby blanket before heading off to bed. Brett woke up again at four a.m. wailing his head off again. I didn't hear, though, I was out cold as soon as I laid my head on the pillow, until six thirty when my alarm went off.

 **XxX (Soda's first letter)**

 _Hey Pony,_

 _Hey little colt. You still making them good grades? Are you and Darry getting along alright? You better be. Man, I sure miss you guys. The food over here sukks, and it sure is hot. I wish I could get some chocolite of something. Send me some. It's pretty tuff being called Private Curtis though. You and Steve and I would have fun racing through this obstical course, but it ain't so fun when ya do it evary day. I'll be back before you know it and I'll whoop you and Darry if you guys ain't getting along. Tell Stevie and Two-Bit I said hi. Take care of Steve for me, you guys may not know it, but you nead each other. (His pride just doesn't wanna admit it.)_

 _ **Sodapop Curtis**_

Responses: 

**Sodapop : Oh. Haha I was for sure you guys were cuz you said the same thing and everyone else before you was saying girl. Glad you guys aren't! Thanks for reviewing!**

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee xXx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Waking Up The Boys And Baby Shopping Sprees**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. :( Sad. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 ****

 **Ponyboy's POV (February 3rd, 1968; 4:42 a.m.)**

I shot out of bed, breathing hard. I glanced around quickly, looking for I have no idea what. I felt my entire body shaking as I laid back down and tried to steady my quick, pounding heartbeat. I thought I was going to wake up Darry, he could probably hear my heart beating.

I bundled myself into the covers, but I couldn't close my eyes, I kept scanning the room in paranoia.

The bed still felt empty, even after so many months with him gone.

I'm not sure which was worse, letting him go that day in September or saying goodbye at the funeral recently. Or even the months in between when I didn't know what was going to happen to him. Now I know that ignorance is blissful. Brett doesn't realize that his dad is dead. Dead in a foreign country thousands of miles away.

Hours later, Darry came in and shook me awake. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep.

"What time is it?" I mumbled, my voice thick with sleep. I coughed into my fist.

"Just a few minutes after seven. Listen, I'm going to go try an' find a crib for Brett, and some other things w'ere gonna need," Darry told me.

"Don't you gotta work today?" I wondered aloud.

"No, I don't work today," Darry gave me a sideways, amused yet concerned look.

It was Sunday. Darry never works Sunday's. _Oh yeah. Right_.

Darry laughed and ruffled my hair. "Are you tired, kiddo?" I shoved his head away, mock-angrily, but I grinned so he knew I wasn't really annoyed.

I got up, calling goodbye to Darry and walked into Brett's room. I tried not to look around in it much. It was Soda's old room. I haven't been in that room for months. I picked up Brett and quickly got him out of the room. He balled my shirt into his small fists and rested his head on my shoulder.

I sat him on the floor and let him walk around while I cooked breakfast. I made sure to keep a close on him while I cooked him and myself pancakes, but before I finished he had fallen asleep. I aimlessly flipped through the channels while he slept, eating my pancakes alone in silence.

 **Guest : I'm going to try to make them longer. Maybe not 2,000 words tomorrow, but I'm going to try to keep getting longer chapters. Thanks so much for the advice! I hope I keep improving. **

**Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee xXx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Reading Books To Kids Heals The Soul**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. :( Sad. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 **Ponyboy's POV (** **February 4th, 1968; 8:12 p.m.)**

I laid Brett on the couch, but he quickly squirmed into the floor and waddled over to Sandy's plaid bag. He pulled out different contents and threw them everywhere, chewing on some of them (like the bottom of his bottle) until I got tired of it and picked him up, but a book laying on the floor caught my eye. It was the same one mom read to us as kids. When I picked it up I swear I saw Brett grin at me.

Before I knew what I was saying I blurted, "you obviously didn't inherit Soda's hatred of reading, did ya, kid?"

I sucked in a sharp breathe, but Brett didn't seem to notice my discomfort, he just giggled.

I yawned. It was getting pretty late. I sat on the couch and rested the side of my head on the top of Brett's head. I slipped one arm under his legs and one around his shoulders, and my hands connected together to hold the book while I was still holding Brett. It was surprisingly a comfortable position. I slowly rocked back and forth while I read.

"The ants go marching one by one. Hoorah, Hoorah..."

Brett sneezed three times a few minutes later, sounding congested. The old saying, " _they come in threes,"_ rang in my head and I tried not to laugh. I was tired, alright! Brett started rubbing his eyes and he snuggled deeper into my chest. I felt his forehead; it was warm. How did I notice earlier?

"Hey, you feelin' alright, little buddy?" I stopped myself this time before going on.

 _Sodapop._

 _Little buddy._

 _Draft._

 _'Nam._

I put Brett into his crib, fighting back the tears. I laid down onto my bed and clutched Soda's old pillow, trying to remember yet trying to forget it all.

 **XxX (Third Person)**

 **Flashback**

 ** _"Mom," Soda whined, his voice cracking once before he coughed into his fist._**

 ** _"I'm here, baby. You ain't feelin' to good, are ya, little buddy," Mom soothed warmly, puckering her red lips in concern. Soda nodded mutely, his eyes red._**

 ** _"Open up," Mom stuck the thermometer into his mouth while Soda leaned on her shoulder._**

 ** _"102.5. My poor baby," she soothed softly, her warm voice as kind and as soothing as it always is. She laid down next to Soda and let him fall asleep on her chest._**

 **XxX (End flashback)**

I was nine then, and Soda was just twelve years old. I'm not sure why that memory came to mind about Soda having laryngitis, but I kept thinking about it after I laid Brett down for the night. Darry had bought a crib, baby food, and a few stuffed animals while he went shopping the other day. In total he spent about $60. Sandy's dirty money was long gone and I was relieved, even if that meant we would be now paying for Brett's care out of our own pockets.

 **A/N: Things are gonna start picking up soon, I promise!**

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee xXx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Ponyboy's Job, Steve's Mood, and the Swirling DX Station**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. :( Sad. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 **Ponyboy's POV (** **February 5th, 1968; 12:13 p.m.)**

Brett had a bad case of the flu. Nobody knew how long he had been out in the cold that first day, or what kind of treatment he received from Sandy, and combined with the stress of a new home meant he was real sick. He couldn't go three minutes without sneezing and he was running a fever of 101.

"Ponyboy, you got school come on," Darry called from this kitchen.

I listened to his heavy footsteps as he made himself some toast and made Brett a bottle. We already had a system down; Darry gets up earlier than me so he makes breakfast and makes Brett's bottle while I do the dishes and feed Brett before driving myself to school.

Except it varied who watched Brett, it was Darry if he didn't work because it rained or something, it was me if it was a weekend and I wasn't working with Steve at the DX, and Two-Bit basically every other day. Steve never babysat and he didn't explain why, but I knew; it was because he missed Sodapop. Soda was the only person Steve cared for, he kept him stable when his dad kicked him out, and now Steve felt like he had nobody, and Brett was just a painful reminder of that. Soda was his Johnny. And he almost ended in suicide too.

Heck, _I_ almost ended in suicide. That night I stared at a bottle of aspirin for an hour, but I couldn't do it; I owed Darry way too much to leave him. We were all we had.

"Bye-Bye, Brett," I kissed his pale, still-warm forehead. Two-Bit puckered his lips at me, struggling to keep a straight over face.

"Where's my kiss, Pony?" He grinned cheekily.

"Up your as-butt," I almost cussed at him, but I remembered that Brett was still in the room. I didn't want the first word he spoke to us to be a cuss word. I'd have hell to pay for that one, Two-Bit too. Instead of kissing him I kissed my finger and smacked him in the face. Brett giggled behind me, but started to cough. I almost picked him up to make sure he was okay, but he recovered just in time.

"Bye. Thanks for babysitting," I called, heading out the screen door. Brett waved with his little hands as I left.

 **X (February 7th)**

"Ponyboy, just shut up, would ya?" Steve snapped, referring to my constant hacking. I tried to hold back my cough, but I couldn't; my throat was killing me. "Just go home already."

"I can't, Darry needs the money for bills an' stuff. 'Sides, I'm okay," I responded back tiredly.

"Fine. See if I care," Steve snapped, heading up to the front once we heard the bell jingle, signaling the arrive of another customer.

Steve was a pain to work with when it wasn't a comfortable temperature out, our garage heating sucked and we didn't have any A/C, so the garage temperature was whatever it was that day outside.

The heater broke again today, it was super busy, and some old lady asked me if I was, " _that baby killer's brother_ ," and Steve almost socked her one good, ignoring the fact that she was old and a girl. It reminded me of Two-Bit at the hospital so many years ago. I lifetime ago.

I was so dizzy when I rolled out from the bottom of the car and stood up that I almost fell over. My head swam, and colors swirled together. Steve's head was turned, his attention on a cute girl, so he didn't notice me until the world had realigned itself again.

 **A/N: I am so, so, so happy with this chapter! Not a lot of Brett in this chapter, sorry guys. I have big plans for next chapter, which should be posted very soon, most likely tomorrow! :)**

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee xXx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: The Dangers Of Working Under The Hood**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. :( Sad. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 **Third Person POV; (November, 1953)**

 **(Flashback:)**

 _"Something smells bad," Sodapop commented, smelling Darry for the foul odor._

 _"I don't smell it. It must just be your upper lip smellin'," Darry snapped back in a snarky tone, pushing Soda away from him, but not hard enough to where he could hurt his little brother._

 _"Where's you learn that saying?" Mrs. Curtis wondered._

 _"It's Pony, he pooped Soda," Mr. Curtis explained to his middle son._

 _"He needs to use the toilet, that's what you tell me," Soda explained, nodding as if he discovered that the earth wasn't round. Mr. and Mrs. Curtis laughed._

 **(End flashback)**

 **XxX Ponyboy's POV** ( **February 8th, 1968; 12:58 P.M.)**

Dragging myself out of bed the next morning was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I almost got sent to the principal for falling asleep during Science, but Mrs. Tobias is a nice lady, and after taking a look at me I got sent to the nurse instead. I assured her I was fine, and I got sent back to my desk with a disapproving look.

I was almost falling asleep under the car. I had been working on the same car for hours, but I couldn't remember which tool I needed until I got back under the car for a second time, and it took me forever to find them. Plus, I had to pause ever few minutes to blow my nose, which was running like a faucet, or something, which was already turning red from the paper towels. There weren't any tissues in the gas station.

With what hopefully was the right wrench in my hand, I slid back under the candy-apple '64 Corvette. It was a tuff car, Steve was whistling when the Socy girl brought it in for her dad. Then again, he may have been whistling at the young girl, too. She was a looker. I think. I'm not too sure, my eyes were watering pretty bad today.

While I was under the car my nose started ticking. I quickly rubbed it with my oily hands without thinking. Almost immediately, my sensitive nose reached to the oil. I jolted up from the impact of the sneeze, slamming my forehead against some part sticking out. I felt the warm sensation of blood drip down my face, and I was overcome with dizziness, even more so than yesterday. I felt like I was gonna throw up right there on the garage floor where Soda worked.

 _Where is Soda_? I wondered hazily. _He would save me. I don't wanna die..._

 **A/N: I want you guys to read the title of this chapter again. There's a hidden duel meaning you may catch. You guys all thought yesterday's chapter was a cliffhanger, and then I give you this! Raises more questions than it answers. :)**

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee xXx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Bills, Cuts, Cars, and White Rooms**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. :( Sad. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 **Ponyboy's POV; (February 8th, 1968; 1:02 P.M.)**

I heard Steve's muffle curse as he helped me up. His face is fuzzy, I thought.

"Bills," he muttered, sounding half-mad and all freaked out. "It's always the bills. Guess what? You can't pay off bills of your sick in the hospital," he snapped.

"Steveee," I groaned. "I... I think I'm gonna..." I threw up on the sidewalk. Instinctively, Steve jumped back and I wobbled and fell onto my knees. Steve quickly recovered from his shock and helped me up. I noticed that when I fell I put my hand out to catch me and there was puke on my finger tips.

"I'm sorry," I started to cry. I couldn't help it, I felt awful.

"It's alright. But you need a hospital, man," Steve told me.

"No. No hospital," I demanded. If I went to the hospital I would see Johnny and Soda. At least that's what I thought. Steve helped me to his car, not saying anything. I flopped down onto the seat tiredly.

"Stay awake, Pone," was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep.

 **X**

God, it was hot. I wondered why. Ever since Soda left, my bed always felt real cold.

"Pony," I heard a voice ask unevenly. "You awake?"

"Mmmmmmm," my eyelids slowly fluttered open, but I had to blink a few more times to see Darry's face clearly, but it was still kinda fuzzy around the edges. I realized that I couldn't talk. I looked around wildly, trying to figure out what was going.

Darry didn't notice, he was too mad. "We're you trying to kill yourself? No, you know what, don't answer that. What's it gonna take for you to start using that think head of yours? Pony, you now have had two concussions. What's the state gonna think if I keep bringin' you to the hospital half dead and unconscious with fevers and concussions? They're gonna think I'm abusing you!" Darry finally paused and gave my expression a good look over.

"You can't talk, there's a tube in your throat," Darry told me. Just as he said that, the doctor walked in. I listened to the calming, rhythmic sigh of the machine as he talked.

"Hello, Ponyboy, I'm Doctor Williams. I'm gonna take that annoying tube out of your throat, okay? When I say three I'm going to have you take a deep breathe for me and it's going to tickle a little," he explained kindly. He was nice enough, but man, he spoke to me like I was either three years old or just plain stupid.

When he hit three I took a deep breathe and immediately started to cough. My throat was on fire and that tube scratching it wasn't helping any. Soda rubbed soothing circles in my back while I coughed and coughed. I felt like I wouldn't ever catch my breathe. I did, though, luckily. But by time I did I was thoroughly exhausted. I wanted to stay awake, but once my head hit the pillow I lost control of my senses and was fast asleep in seconds.

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee xXx**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Sodapop Patrick Curtis**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. :( Sad. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 **Ponyboy's POV; (February 10th, 1968; 11:26 A.M.)**

Thankfully, I got out of the hospital quickly. I'm not aloud back at work for a few more days, I do nothing but sleep, and I still feel like I got ran over by a train, but I can do all of that in my own bed and not at the hospital. And besides all that I was perfectly fine. No need to worry. Right?

Brett was almost completely better, he had a stuffy nose and was still pretty tired, so sometimes we just slept together. He was getting to look more and more like Sodapop everyday and I hated it.

I laid Brett down for his nap in his dark blue crib and watched him sleep peacefully. I watched his chest rise and fall in an even pattern. After a while I stood up, but I felt really dizzy. The room turned slightly on its edges and I had to grab Sodapop's old wooden dresser to steady myself. I covered my mouth with my shirt sleeve as I started to cough, so that I didn't wake up Brett.

My heart pounded loudly in my ears. Taking in a shaky breath, I decided to sit on the couch and see if it would make me feel better.

A few hours or minutes later, I don't remember, a familiar figure stood over me.

"Soda?" I asked in a scratchy whisper. It sounded as if I had been gargling rocks. I vaguely wondered if I had been and I just didn't remember, I was all mixed up and confused.

"No, Pone, it's Darry. What happened? Your burnin' up!" Darry exclaimed, putted his rough, calloused hand to my feverish forehead.

"I am?" I asked, to which Darry nodded to. He stuck his hand out to help me off of the couch, but I lost my grip on his hand and wobbled before he caught me awkwardly around my slim waist.

My vision swirled. "Ponyboy, I'm going to get Brett and then we're gonna go to the hospital, okay? Just hang on. Your fever's spiked to 104," Darry explained to me.

 _He had taken my temperature already_? I didn't remember it. I wanted to ask him that, but I fell down a deep, long tunnel.

 **A/N: Thank you to 2chillxx for her suggestion used in this chapter! :)**

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee xXx**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: New Faces, White Walls, And Guns Drawn**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. :( Sad. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 **Ponyboy's POV; (February 12th, 1968; 11:26 P.M.)**

 _ **Dream:**_

 _It started off just like any other hunting day years ago. I had my old, silver, semi-automatic gun slung over my shoulder while my two older brothers had their own guns slung around their shoulders too. The bright, hot, Oklahoma sun beat down on my neck, shining into my green-grey eyes, making them water slightly if I looked up at the sun too long. I was sweating through my layers, although it was slightly cold out with the wind whipping through the forest. I could smell the freshness in the air._

 **It's going to rain,** **_I observed vaguely._**

 ** _Our duck blind was pretty cramped with four grown boys, and I wasn't exactly looking forward to sitting in there for hours. I could see it in the far distance, just a few hundred yards away as we walked through the recently plowed field._**

 ** _I glanced up at the bright blue sky and saw a few ducks flying free in the air. I raised my gun, aiming through the site and pulling the trigger, but the shot rang out behind me. I turned just in time to see Sodapop hit the ground with a loud thud, blood pooling out of his chest and onto his fingers and the brown, crinkled leaves under him. I rushed to his side and moved his hand away from his chest to get a better look. He took a shaky, gasping breath._**

 ** _I killed him I killed him I killed him, I repeated in my head, basically screaming in a panic to myself. My hands were shaking. I just killed my brother._**

"Soda," I mumbled, thrashing around in the thick, warm covers. "Soda! D-Don't leave me," I begged. I slowly became aware of the scratchiness of the covers. Sodapop and I's covers were never rough; they were soft and smooth.

I slowly dragged open the weights that I called my eyelids and set my eyes on Darry, who was sitting across from me in a chair, dead asleep. I finally, with a wave of consciousness, became aware that I was in an hospital.

I choked on the lump in my throat and muffled my rough coughing with the blankets, begging that Darry wouldn't wake up to the noise. He didn't, thankfully; I knew that he had to be exhausted by now.

I heard a tentative, soft tapping outside the door and then the click of it opening. My jaw dropped open at the figure it reviewed, standing in front of me, as real as life itself.

"Ponyboy," she greeted, her voice clear. Her blue eyes sparkled with concern and anxiety.

"S-Sandy?" I breathed hoarsely.

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee xXx**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Sandra And Steve**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. :( Sad. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 **Ponyboy's POV; (February 12th, 1968; 11:31 P.M.)**

 _I heard a tentative, soft tapping on the door and then the quiet click of it opening up. I expected a doctor or nurse, but my jaw dropped open at the figure it revealed, standing in front of me, as real as life._

 _"Ponyboy," she greeted, her voice clear. Her blue eyes sparkled with concern and nervousness at seeing me._

 _"S-Sandy?" I breathed hoarsely, my eyes going as wide as saucers_.

"Hello," she said absentmindedly yet on a mission, her small jaw set. Her eyes shifted to Darry, who was now rubbing his pale blue eyes and looking very much awake. He stood up and shook her hand firmly and professionally.

"Uh- Hi, Sandy. How are you?" Darry's voice was stiff, but his words were polite enough.

"I-I heard about... Sodapop," she wrung her hands nervously, glancing up at Darry through her long lashes, "I don't know, I just needed to come and see you- see for myself. I'm sorry." I think she meant more behind those words than anyone ever realized.

"It's not your fault. How-How'd you hear?" Darry asked her, his voice formal and void of emotion. He shifted his eyes astound to anywhere and everywhere but her eyes. I remained silent, trying to find something to say, but my throat felt dry and my vocal chords didn't want to cooperate with me.

"Steve- he told me about what happened to him-" _She couldn't seem to say his name either,_ I thought- "and I-I owe you guys an explication." Sandy had always been shy and quiet, but she was stumbling over her words, her head down and her cheeks flushed bright pink.

"I think you told us everything in that note," Darry told her. "You don't need to say anything."

"I'm sorry for coming," she whispered, rushing out of the door. I vaguely wondered if that was the last time we'd see her again. For some reason the thought put a lump in my throat abc my stomach turned to ice. I launched into a coughing fit again, gagging. My throat burned as I threw up in the basin Darry grabbed, and I could barely get a breath in while he rubbed my back. It eventually subsided though and I laid back onto the bed, fighting the heavy weights on my eyelids.

"Darry? Is Brett okay?" I mumbled trough half-consciousness. Darry have me a sideway look and I wondered why.

"Yeah, Pone, don't worry. He's alright," Darry promised me.

"Tell him his mommy's in town," I yawned before I fell completely asleep.

 **A/N: Thank you MyCookieGirl for her amazing suggestion used here. Was this chapter okay? For some reason I don't like it. **

**Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee xXx**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Darry's Stress abc Brett's Distraction**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. :( Sad. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 **Last chapter!**

 **Ponyboy's POV; (February 15th, 1968; 11:31 P.M.)**

I had a bad case of pneumonia. Darry was furious that I let my cold progress into pneumonia.

How was I suppose to know? It's not like I **_tried_** to get pneumonia and land myself in the hospital. But Darry was disappointed in me, which meant we were all walking on egg shells around him. I felt bad for stressing my brother out, it was the last thing he needed. He seemed to be tired all of the time and was always working late or sleeping when he got the chance.

I distracted myself with Brett. The kid was cute, I couldn't deny it, but he looked so much like his daddy that it hurt. It hurt so bad just to look at him, because every time I looked into his dark blue eyes, which were turning from Sandy's china blue eyes to Soda's topaz brown eyes, I saw my brother, Sodapop. And it hurt worse than anything that I had ever felt before. Somehow loosing Sodapop was worse than losing my mom and dad. He was everything to me.

I heard Brett wailing loudly from his room and I entered it to get him. I knew that I'd have to put him down again later, I just laid him down for a nap twenty minutes ago. He was still sucking his thumb when I picked him up. We really needed to break that habit, it wasn't good for him. He smiled at me, happy now that he was out of the captivity of his crib.

 **OoOoOoO**

We got the news about Sandy a few days after it had happened. She had been in a car crash and had died instantly the night she left my hospital room. I held Brett close after Darry told me. I felt awful for him, both his parents dead. He's an orphan and we're orphans. Sandy's dead and none of us can fix it. And he doesn't even know it.

That night I cried in my room, alone. For Sandy, Sodapop, Brett, or even myself, I'm not sure. I think I just cried for everyone of us. The relief that followed was comforting.

"I love you, Brett," I whispered.

 **Third Person POV (Fifteen years later)**

 ** _Darry, Ponyboy, and the gang,_**

 ** _If your reading this, then that means I'm dead, huh? Man, guys, I am so sorry. I don't want you guys to be sad. I know that's a lot to ask, but Pony you keep studying and don't get hard, you too Darry, you can still go to college. Two-Bit, take care of them keep making them laugh. Steve, buddy, I'm sure gonna miss you. Just keep living, buddy, don't turn cold. Stick with my brothers for me._**

 ** _And if Sandy ever comes back, trust her. I don't believe her when she said her kid wasn't mine. And if your reading this, kiddo, I love you too. And I'm sorry._**

 ** _Love,_**

 ** _Sodapop_**

Brett smiled as he read his father's note.

 **A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who stuck with me and reviewed!**

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 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee xXx**


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